Recently I had the chance to discuss with one of my best friends about confidence. A very useful and interesting topic I would say. Confidence goes hand in hand with attitude. Confidence and attitude can give us or take us extraordinary moments and achievements, no matter if we talk from a personal or professional point of view. But how can you see if you or someone else are full of confidence or you see the lack of it? How can this great ability, feeling, skill, or whatever other name you can give to it, can be learned? What is the impact of our parents in gaining or losing confidence? Does the social environment have any influence in our confidence? What about other people in general who we interact with every day?
There are various actions, non-verbal languages or even the tone of the voice that can highlight if a person it’s very confident in her abilities and power. If you ever thought about the fact that there are only some people on this earth so lucky to have been born with this great gift, please let me share with you, my idea. And that is the fact that I strongly believe confidence can be learned. It’s a matter of exercise, like in any other life situation. Talking from experience, I don’t say this will be easy, but every situation will bring you closer to become more and more confident (in a good way) regarding all areas of your life. And it will definitely be worth it!
Yes, our parents have a very deep impact on gaining or losing our confidence, even if, most of the time, they don’t even realize the impact they have on our emotional mindsets. It took me a while to understand that every parent want what is best for his child and it will definitely help you very much in your adult life to understand your parents. Probably it’s very common the difference between generations. But having in mind the good intentions of our parents will definitely help us stop arguing with them on irrelevant and useless topics and gain a more mature confidence little by little, and day by day.
The confidence is also very strongly related to our social and economic environment. I will not give many details on this perspective, just one idea, again, learned from experience. You can’t learn and develop your confidence if you will stay surrounded with people that are only trying to bring you down, from all points of view. Or a more practical example, who don’t read not even a good book once a year.
A good boost of confidence will be given to you especially from those extraordinary people who you choose to interact, no matter if it is twice a day, once a week, or two hours on every three months. What makes the difference in this process of learning confidence and attitude is the quality of the people and how much in the end you spend your time with them. In Romania, we have a saying that in English more or less sounds like this: “You put yourself in bran, you will be eaten by the pigs.” The meaning is that no matter how great you are, if you choose to stay with people that drag you to their ugly level, ultimately you will become one of them. And I can confirm you that from experience again. More than six years ago I wouldn’t have been capable of writing not even two sentences regarding this kind of idea or any other. So I should have told my extraordinary friend whom I am very grateful for (and he’s not the only one) that I am very proud of my “more-then-two-sentences-articles” that helped me very much through this challenging process of gaining confidence. And still working on this day by day.
So yes, confidence can be learned and can give you a marvelous attitude, but only if you have the right people by your side. So choose them wisely :)
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