"The Mean Friend"

   I admit. I enjoy very much every time I have the chance to have different constructive conversations with extraordinary people because I feel a very strong sense of development and learning. I also feel a brain sparkle that it’s absolutely amazing. And even with that “mean friend” that is telling you right in your face everything that you don’t want to hear. You could find a better explanation of the “mean friend” in here.

   I also believe we are psychologically created to see easier first the negative and stay more focus on it, instead of the positive. Vanessa Van Edwards, Behavioral Investigator in the Science of People Lab explains this much better. I always had a question mark in my head why it’s easier to highlight a negative vibe when talking with someone, instead of being more supportive, for example. Or to tell a friend how proud we are for all his or her life achievements, instead of emphasizing the one thing that maybe he or she is doing wrong. Like a Dalmatian: we are more focused on the black dots instead on the white fur skin :))

   Now, let’s make a clear distinction between that “mean friend” that chooses to tell us something as a sort of wakeup call (if we have the power to hear it, acknowledge it and make a change, it’s up to us), and the kind of people that only see the negative no matter what, and moreover they say it in a very hurtfully way. You may say that both of the situations are uncomfortable, and they are, but in a totally different way. Now I see a clear distinction between them and it's like the difference between shame and guilt. Brene Brown gives a great example in her book in respect to that: < "Ellen! You’re a mess. Apparently, Ellen got a very serious look on her face and said, “I may be making a mess, but I’m not a mess.” > An outstanding example in order to assimilate what an impact words may have on our lives...

   That’s it for today, tomorrow it’s another day. But remember to cherish it and enjoy it, and not taking it for granted ;)

   Article written by “The mean Dalmatian friend” :D